Parent Lounge

To have a positive attitude means being able to focus on the good things in life and not on the bad things that sometimes occur. Developing a positive attitude helps people cope. It is not necessarily something your child is born with, but can always be developed. As a parent you can help your child in developing positive attitudes about life, helping him face life’s challenges with confidence.

Diligently encourage your child to concentrate on doing what is important. This should be accompanied by positive words of reassurance, i.e.  “You can” and negative statements by a child, like “I can’t” should be corrected. The last statement can make the child feel inadequate and thus, using this phrase makes him feel badly about himself. Parents need to help the child realize that he may not always be able to do everything by himself, but with help most tasks can be accomplished.

Being positive is a decision. Every one of us has the option to choose how to react.
People and situations can make us feel bad but we choose whether or not to dwell on it and allow it to change our mood.

Find reasons to smile and laugh, and demonstrate that to your child: watch funny movies, read good meaningful stories and above all develop a lifestyle of appreciation. Research shows that by smiling and laughing; it will change your brain chemistry and make you feel better. A home full of laughter is a happy home.

In addition, by learning something new can always helps a child feel satisfaction. It increases confidence and provides something for him to focus on. Having a hobby that he is good at is important, so whatever your child’s hobby is, let him know that you recognize and value his passion.

Shimon

Tags: A positive child, better parenting, parenting information, parenting skills, positive parenting, positive psychology, positive thinking

To be a self reliant adult means you trust your own judgment to control your life, and you are free to think for yourself. A child who is self reliant is more independent in his feelings and actions, and will grow through time into a secure adult.

As parents, building self reliance in our children is not easy. If you don’t give your child enough independence and freedom he will come to depend on you for everything; be afraid to make decisions for himself, and may question his own ability. On the opposite end if you let go too soon then the child is in danger of feeling insecure.
Self reliance should be targeted while the child is young, by allowing and encouraging him to do the things he can do. When your child is a little older, start teaching him about responsibility and help build a self-reliant lifestyle. Teach him how to deal with money (especially on how to save), do household tasks and more. So that when the time comes that he is on his own, he will be confident in managing the things he needs to do. Young adults today rely too much on others and not on their own abilities.

Hold your child accountable for the task you give him, whether it is a household chore, school work or watching over his sister. Children often rise to the occasion when they realize that if they don’t complete a task it will not get done.
It is also important to give your child the opportunity to makes decisions and choices. That will allow him to make decisions later on in life: when playing, deciding what to wear, eat or what sport to play. Never force your child to be involved in something that doesn’t interest him just because it is your dream. Be especially aware of that, as it is hard for us as parents to separate our ambitions from our children’s future ambitions.

On a continuing basis, encourage your child to set goals for himself and to try and achieve them. This can be simple goals like choosing the classes he wants to participate in, and devoting efforts in getting good grades, and later on a career. This may include trying something new, and it might involve trial and error, so remember it’s a process with long term aims.

Your approval should not be conditioned upon success and praise should be given for efforts, not necessarily success.

We all want our children to become happy successful adults and one way we can help them along the way is to teach them to be self-reliant. Remember the saying:”it’s not if you win or loose, it’s how you played the game!”.

Shimon

Tags: An independent student, better parenting, parenting information, parenting skill, self reliance