Parent Lounge

To have a positive attitude means being able to focus on the good things in life and not on the bad things that sometimes occur. Developing a positive attitude helps people cope. It is not necessarily something your child is born with, but can always be developed. As a parent you can help your child in developing positive attitudes about life, helping him face life’s challenges with confidence.

Diligently encourage your child to concentrate on doing what is important. This should be accompanied by positive words of reassurance, i.e.  “You can” and negative statements by a child, like “I can’t” should be corrected. The last statement can make the child feel inadequate and thus, using this phrase makes him feel badly about himself. Parents need to help the child realize that he may not always be able to do everything by himself, but with help most tasks can be accomplished.

Being positive is a decision. Every one of us has the option to choose how to react.
People and situations can make us feel bad but we choose whether or not to dwell on it and allow it to change our mood.

Find reasons to smile and laugh, and demonstrate that to your child: watch funny movies, read good meaningful stories and above all develop a lifestyle of appreciation. Research shows that by smiling and laughing; it will change your brain chemistry and make you feel better. A home full of laughter is a happy home.

In addition, by learning something new can always helps a child feel satisfaction. It increases confidence and provides something for him to focus on. Having a hobby that he is good at is important, so whatever your child’s hobby is, let him know that you recognize and value his passion.

Shimon

Tags: A positive child, better parenting, parenting information, parenting skills, positive parenting, positive psychology, positive thinking

To be a self reliant adult means you trust your own judgment to control your life, and you are free to think for yourself. A child who is self reliant is more independent in his feelings and actions, and will grow through time into a secure adult.

As parents, building self reliance in our children is not easy. If you don’t give your child enough independence and freedom he will come to depend on you for everything; be afraid to make decisions for himself, and may question his own ability. On the opposite end if you let go too soon then the child is in danger of feeling insecure.
Self reliance should be targeted while the child is young, by allowing and encouraging him to do the things he can do. When your child is a little older, start teaching him about responsibility and help build a self-reliant lifestyle. Teach him how to deal with money (especially on how to save), do household tasks and more. So that when the time comes that he is on his own, he will be confident in managing the things he needs to do. Young adults today rely too much on others and not on their own abilities.

Hold your child accountable for the task you give him, whether it is a household chore, school work or watching over his sister. Children often rise to the occasion when they realize that if they don’t complete a task it will not get done.
It is also important to give your child the opportunity to makes decisions and choices. That will allow him to make decisions later on in life: when playing, deciding what to wear, eat or what sport to play. Never force your child to be involved in something that doesn’t interest him just because it is your dream. Be especially aware of that, as it is hard for us as parents to separate our ambitions from our children’s future ambitions.

On a continuing basis, encourage your child to set goals for himself and to try and achieve them. This can be simple goals like choosing the classes he wants to participate in, and devoting efforts in getting good grades, and later on a career. This may include trying something new, and it might involve trial and error, so remember it’s a process with long term aims.

Your approval should not be conditioned upon success and praise should be given for efforts, not necessarily success.

We all want our children to become happy successful adults and one way we can help them along the way is to teach them to be self-reliant. Remember the saying:”it’s not if you win or loose, it’s how you played the game!”.

Shimon

Tags: An independent student, better parenting, parenting information, parenting skill, self reliance

We all know that setting boundaries for our children is important, but the majority still have to think twice about how to actually set them.

Children also learn by modeling an adult’s behavior. A parent may stand up for himself/herself, (imposing the boundaries for example), and in the process the child will learn and internalizes it.

Many parents find it difficult to impose boundaries, since they want their child to be independent and prepare for adulthood, but they also desire a certain level of obedience, which is needed at a stage of intense learning.

Here are some suggested practical and helpful tips:

1. Be consistent – if you, or your spouse, set a boundary –   

keep it!. Setting a boundary and then backing down sends the

opposite message, and makes setting future boundaries

more difficult.

2. To avoid the need to back down, think in advance about the

boundaries you set. Make sure they are practical.

If you need to treat your child to enforce the boundary, perhaps

you aimed too high (?)

3. Never use “I told you so”. Always explain the child what is the

rational for  the boundary. It is ok to say to a child “today we will

not go to eat outside since I have to do some work at home”.

This is an important part of the child’s cognitive growth process.

4. It is ok to be angry sometimes, we are all human and being a

parent is a  complicated task. If you do get upset, when you

calm down, always explain  yourself.

Tags: better parenting, parenting informaion, parenting skills

Bullying can be a problem for children as well as the parents who also feel the need to protect their children. On the one hand we don’t want the child to be a victim, but on the other hand we don’t want him to be violent in return.

 The child usually feels powerless: he cannot protect himself and by telling someone it” may make things worse for him and perhaps make him shameful.

It is important for a parent to convey to the child the feeling that informing the appropriate persons at school will help resolve the situation and will provide protection.

If you instruct your child to “fight back” you invite more trouble for the child’s situation.

It is still possible for your child to “stand up” for himself and let the adults resolve the situation without having any negative consequences.

To look for signs of bullying: low motivation in returning to school, unusual bruises and torn clothes.

If at all you notice some of these signs; contact your child’s teacher who is in a better position to observe any behavior changes of your child, and can monitor any indications of bullying.

Tags: better parenting, Parental Tips, parenting information, parenting skills

Young children usually “take in” as much as they can and literally study all the time. When your child comes home from school, he/she has already spent several hours of studying and playing. Studying at school is important because it allows a child to learn formal content as well as interpersonal content from his or her friends.

When time comes to study at home, it is the parent’s responsibility to educate the child. Again, this consists of the formal content (what was done that day at school) and the interpersonal content (the parent is the role-model and the child is always looking up to their mum and dad).

Here are just some ideas on how you can support the child at every stage of their homework:

1. Before doing homework

Some simple things can be arranged before the child comes home from school in order to make the house an easier place to study.

Help the child to get into a learning mode – let him relax after school.

Give him the opportunity to share his day with you.

Remember: you are not his teacher, though you are still a leader and he looks    up to you for support.

Designate a specific area for studying – this is most likely to be a desk in a room away from the T.V. and other distractions.

It is best to let the child choose the venue himself. This will encourage independence and commitment.

Television – children usually have a hard time concentrating on two things together. If your child is watching T.V. he is probably not concentrating in doing his homework. Make sure it’s turned off when he comes home.

2. While doing homework

The beginning – the start is always the difficult part.

Try to assist him at this stage and be close enough later to offer guidance.

This also shows the child you care enough to be involved with his activities.

Show involvement – give the child feedback about his progress. This includes encouragement and comments like “very nice. Let’s try the next exercise!”.

Pay special attention to areas that are more difficult because learning to cope is one of the most important skills.

Be involved – if you see your child has a weak area you can get him more focused help, like a private teacher or driving him to joint studying groups.

Cell phone – this can be tricky. As long as the phone is used to consult friends about something learned today it’s ok.

Dictionary – be sure a dictionary is nearby in case of need.

Routine and stability – set regular homework time.

3. After doing homework

Check the homework with the child – help your child get feedback on his work. Don’t criticize if there are mistakes. Correct them together! You will not have enough time to do that every time, and sometimes your child will hand imperfect homework. This is also good as it allows him to learn from mistakes: it is his homework, you are only helping.

Organize study projects – let your child experience irregular work. This helps develop basic curiosity. Reward these projects in a different way to encourage pro activeness. For example it your child learned about offering help, ask him to read about a famous figure in history that is known for that virtue.

Message – don’t pressure your child for perfection. Encourage him to give it his best, and hope for good results.

Teacher – try to be in regular contact with the teacher. Be sure you are informed if the teacher thinks your child has specific areas he has trouble with.

It can be easy for us to help the child too much. After all, we all want our children to get good grades. But remember, a child today is a person tomorrow, and that means not deciding for him and letting him make the effort himself. Let your child enjoy the journey: With the correct guidance he will reach his goals!

Tags: better parenting, parenting information, parenting skills